The tragedy

So, you know those times that you forget what to say?

Love

You know the times you forget how to act your age?

Love

You know those times when everything is crumbling around you?

Love.

The cry of worship is not something controllable by man. However, even without the urge to cry out to God, we can remain obedient.

The tragedy is the title of this because we all go through a tragic time or two. Some people call it the valley, to some it feels more like a canyon or the bottom of a well. I have been at the bottom of the well for quite some time.

Ever since I made the job change, over and over I have been reminded of the glory of our father who is constantly showing himself to me. In one week, this past Wednesday, the size of my youth group doubled. In the span of a semester, my life looks entirely different. There is something strange when life spirals out of control and you are ok with it. I haven't had almost any say in the things that have gone on between last November and now. I applied for various jobs, got hired and fired from one, hired and going strong in another. Life just kinda hit. It's almost like all the times when I asked God to make my life, shape it even, into what exactly He wanted it to be He was waiting for this moment in my life to do so.

I mean, since the summer of 2004, I have been trying to fit my life around Him. I tried to do music, I was an active leader in the Refinery (FBC Wills Point Youth), and I have done multiple things as far as outreach and ministry go since then. All of those things were fine for preparation, but I still felt like a failed sinner at the end of them. Like I had done my duty and now it's time to let someone else do better. I remember feeling that at the end of my stay at FBC Belton. I remember nearly crying at the party they had for me in the youth room for two reasons. One, I knew I would, and I still do, miss all the students that I poured myself into. I miss leading worship and getting to chill as an intern. Second, though, I felt like I hadn't been good enough in the first place. I felt like God had given me my shot, gave me a year and half, decided I blew it and let me go from it.

Now, I know that all of that was an attack from Satan, and I know that beyond any thought I had at that point there was a plan in place already to get me into His willful place. It's just hard to believe that sometimes isn't it?

Jonah didn't think God knew what was going on. Neither did Job or his friends by the end of it. Joseph tried to leave Mary at first thought after he found out about Jesus.

The tragedy that overlaps everything is this. We don't cry out for worship because through our disobedience God sees our efforts as not enough. Our entire life should be based upon obedience through everything to God. And yet we freely do the things we choose to do. So when we show up for church or try and pray for a long time and lose the words, we wonder where the Spirit is. Why can't I feel it right now?

Truth is, we are still playing the "me" game at that point and calling it worship.

Truth is that we are scared of obedience because we are scared to move into a real, passionate, holy, loving relationship with our Lord.

Truth is that we don't think we have what it takes.

Love.

Love makes us good, it make the things that we do worthy. The love of God, through Christ, acts in us and through us to make obedience, to make real worship possible.

The saddest part about typing this blog today is this; more people that read this are going to care that I didn't site Scripture than those that turn their life around and read Scripture for themselves and find these things to be true.

Love.

Humility

TCOW today is humility.

Nehemiah is my propeller for this thought. In the first chapter of his book, he is brought news of distress from Jerusalem. At this time he is in Susa serving as cup bearer to the king.

Susa was the capitol of the ancient Elam, which is presently the hottest part of Iran, Khuzestan, roughly 1000 miles away from Jerusalem.

Nehemiah broke down weeping at the news he was brought: that Jerusalem's walls were destroyed, and that the remnant of the people were in great trouble and shame.

He wept, but it says also in verse 4 "...and I continued fasting and praying."

Two things that i notice about this. 1) He CONTINUED, meaning he had been fasting and praying for Jerusalem and probably his role with his people before then, and 2) he did not let his weeping get in the way. He didn't wait until he was broken to begin worship and prayer, he started as soon as he thought about the situation. He reached a certain level of humility here that I don't see in myself almost ever.

Even being broken, he refused to not focus on God. Generally speaking when I am sad, I get that out of the way first and then seek out God's wisdom. Nehemiah says I've got it all wrong. Humility is not lowering yourself, but putting God before you. That's what Nehemiah did!

So as the school year gets harder with classes really starting today, be humble, seek the Father especially during the roughest part of your day.

Focussed

Monday-the first day of class-D day-the day my summer came to an abrupt halt

First of all, I want to give an apology. I haven't been a very consistent "blogger" and i blame myself for being lazy and making excuses.

With that being said, yesterday can be described as one word for me. \

WOW

Life has not been my best friend recently, but yesterday Jesus grabbed a hold of my heart for the first time since the start of summer.

The stress, the sadness, the everything kicked in Saturday, so yesterday during times of worship i didn't care. I just wanted to be with my Jesus.

I looked at it for a second as me leaning on Him and being dependent.

I have a recent problem with dependency. I've been reading a lot of the prophets and to me, those seem like the dark points and points of warning to the Israelites. I feel like God wasn't singing "Lean On Me" at this point. It was more of a command to focus on HIM.

So thats what i did. I changed from dependency to complete focus. Everything else disappeared!

So the Cry of Worship for this week is focus. Where is your life focussed? Is it on a girl/boy? Is it on work? Is it on class? Or is it on the Kingdom of Heaven?

Blind Obedience

The week has not begun to seem any more filled.

I need understanding.

We, as human beings, able to reason and deduce and interact, always want to be better. If that means being better people, being better at a skill, being better about a quirk, whatever that may look like, we always want to be better. The same is true for our thirst of wisdom. Have you ever listened to a person who didn't finish high school? They think they are the bomb! They generally try to give you advice on how to live because they've "been in the hard spots." EVERYONE wants to be wise. EVERYONE wants to understand the world.

Solomon wrote a book about it. About our search for being better.

I had never been interested in Ecclesiastes until I listened to Matt Chandler speak on it at Student Life Camp at Orange Beach Alabama. The dude (Solomon) tried everything. I mean, he had THE BEST of everything. He threw the best parties, had the best dinners, had enough women that he didn't have to have the same kind of sandwich twice for three years almost!

Dude was legit. But all throughout Ecclesiastes he tries to find fulfillment out of it. Everything turns out "meaningless."

In the end, the only thing that matters is that you 1)"Enjoy life with the One You Love," 2) you realize that "Wisdom is better than Folly," and you 3) "Remember Your Creator in your Youth." I think that the one thing that sums it up is 12:13-14, "The end of the matter; all has been heard, 'Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring everything into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.'"

Fear God and keep his commandments for that is the whole duty of man.

Blind following.

Deitrich Bonhoeffer talked about this in "The Cost of Discipleship" a little. He said that the initial following of Christ is not faith based.

WHAT?!?!?

You mean I didn't have complete faith in Christ when I became a Christian? absurd!

But he brings in a good point. The one example that struck me the most was that of Levi. Jesus says come and he leaves all custom, all possession, everything and follows Jesus.

WOW.

No idea who the guy is or how he will eat, he just gets up and goes. Faith comes second. For all of the disciple faith came after spending time with Jesus in His ministry.

So the call of worship today is for that of blind obedience in my life.

God bless, One love, and whatever other "goodbye" you might want to give.

The Bread and the Water

This week is going to be rough. I can already feel it. Disappointment is starting to settle in already. It's an early morning...ish...I'm really not excited about life right this very second (mostly because of the morning thing), and I really just want like a week off of everything to run away to a mountain or something. Well, it isn't going to happen. There's too much to do, too much to worry about!

Today is going to just be a short intro, as will be the trend every monday.

John 6:35-Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

So why on any given day do I not feel satisfied?

My cry for worship this week is that I would learn the meaning of being "Christ-filled."

Reflect on the words of C.S. Lewis throughout the week. "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step."

Like Dry Bones

Is it just me or does Ezekiel give you chills every time you read him?

I mean, God tells all the prophets all of His problems, but with Ezekiel they sound like best friends. I mean, seriously, in chapter 36:16-31 the Lord talks to Ezekiel about the harm that's being done to His name. It almost sounds like a "This is what people are saying about me" as if there were gossip about Him (Which at this point there kinda was among the "other" nations A.K.A. us...).

Ezekiel's story is INTENSE. Seriously, it's warning after vision after warning after promise after order after vision after promise after vision (not necessarily in that order).

The thing that is SICK about this story for me though that gives the goose-bumps EVERY time is the story of the dry bones becoming flesh.

"The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"

I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know."

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' "

So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' "

Ezekiel 37:1-14

Wow is really the only word for this.

So, two pieces of this called me to worship.

1)At the very beginning God asks Ezekiel if the bones could live. Ezekiel's response is perfect! "O Sovereign Lord, you alone know!" Geez, I would have tried something! "Well, God, it doesn't look like it..." or something! Ezekiel, though, not only is he smart, but he talks to God like a best friend and he's just like "I don't have a clue man! You tell me!"

2) 11b says "Our bones are dried up, our hope is lost; we are clean cut off (ESV)."

This is the story of my life. Surely the love of God does not extend to ME?!? There is no way! I am a thief, a liar, an adulterer, a murderer in my own heart! I consistently turn in the opposite direction of the call He has in my life! I disobey not only Him but my parents which he commands me to follow faithfully as I follow Him! I put my own life and the inanimate objects in it before Him ALL THE TIME!!!

I'm SO DRY! I'M ALREADY SO DEAD AND ROTTEN!

Here's the cry of worship today.

God's love tells us to get up.

I am wretched. Useless. Less than worthy. More than a sinner. I feel less than alive the majority of the time. I fell less than human. I can't do right.

"Get up. I love you."

Everything that I cried for this week is held in this one story. God is so good!

This weekend, venture into something new. Our God, the God that offered the nations to King David. The God that gave the land of Canaan to Israel when they had nothing. The God who gave Sampson the strength to destroy a temple when all strength was gone. The God that sent Paul to prison JUST SO he could better understand the joy that comes from relying solely on HIM. The God who raised Lazarus from the dead. The God who came and died Himself just so that we could live.

Come into that salvation this weekend. If you've been "saved" for a while, I think Bonhoeffer puts it best in chapter two of his book, "The Cost of Discipleship,":

"The call to follow implies that there is only one way of believing in Jesus Christ, and that is by leaving all and going with the incarnate Son of god."

So choose to follow Him. He's calling you OUT OF DEATH! OUT OF ALL YOUR DRYNESS! OUT OF THIS STUPID FAKE LIFE!

I know this from experience and from everything about my relationship with God. A life without the Lord being active is a life void of everything you need to live on.

I love you all, have a FANTASTIC weekend! and REJOICE in this salvation!!

Worth it

Salvation, again, is the cry of worship for this week.

Let me be the first to say online right now that it is FREAKING HOT in our youth offices.

I can't tell you how often I complain about this or that. That this isn't good enough, or its not cold enough, or my car isn't fast enough, etc, etc.

Wait a second...thankfulness was yesterday...

I know, this sounds like the second half of that. Well, it sort of is. That's why there's a theme for the WEEK. You guys will catch on, most of you made it through the 5th grade right?

The thing that I reflected on this morning was the story of Cain and Abel. Pretty recognizable story. We have all been told it since we were like 5. That and the story of Zachaeus as well as the twelve spies sent into Canaan.

So, in summary, just to remind you, Cain and Abel both offer up sacrifices to God. God doesn't look favorably on Cain's but He does on Abel's. Anyone ever had any sort of sibling rivalry? I think these two started it. Cain kills Abel! I have WANTED to kill my brothers before, but I've never done it! Or else i would probably not be on the way to being a youth minister...

So Cain kills his brother, God comes and asks where he is, Cain tells Him he doesn't have a clue and God lets Cain know that he can't lie to Him by revealing the truth.

Wow. I think Cain is in trouble.

The beauty of this story is that God banishes Cain, Cain think's someone will kill him, and God says in Genesis 4:15 that "...If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold!"

God loved Cain. As much evil as Cain had done that day, God loved him and while he could not live with him, he promised him a life, as unfulfilling as that life may be.

The Cry of Worship today?

If you are the person who knows God's glory, but have strayed away from Him, he loves you! He has His mark on you forever and He wants you to come back!

In the words of the O.C. Supertones "So great a salvation, but to You my Jesus what am I worth? It's quiet times like this I feel I get a glimpse of Heaven right here on earth"

Cain, in all his evil, was worth giving life. He was sent out from God's presence though! IMAGINE HOW MUCH MORE WORTH IT WE ARE IF WE GET TO BE NEAR TO HIM!!!!!!!!!

wow. Worship the father for you being worth His time and His son's life today!

Haleluja!!!